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LOL! - Ok - Ok - Here's the real one...

 


...(New Year's resolution......never trust a Pirate!)  ;)

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 ~ KIDS WRITE ABOUT THE SEA ~
( - Thanks to Barnabus for this one!)



1) This is a picture of an octopus. It has eight testicles. (Kelly age 6)


2) Oysters' balls are called pearls. (James age 6)





3) If you are surrounded by sea you are an Island. If you don't have sea
all round you, you are incontinent. ( Wayne age 7)




4) Sharks are ugly and mean, and have big teeth, just like Emily
Richardson. She's not my friend no more. (Kylie age 6)




5) A dolphin breaths through an asshole on the top of its head. (Billy
age 8)

6) My uncle goes out in his boat with pots, and comes back with crabs.
(Millie age 6)


 

7) When ships had sails, they used to use the trade winds to cross the
ocean. Sometimes, when the wind didn't blow, the sailors would whistle to
make the wind come. My brother said they would have been better off
eating beans. (William age 7)




8) I like mermaids. They are beautiful, and I like their shiny tails.
And how on earth do mermaids get pregnant? Like, really? (Helen age 6)





9) I'm not going to write about the sea. My baby brother is always
screaming and being sick, my Dad keeps shouting at my Mom, and my big
sister has just got pregnant, so I can't think what to write. (Amy age 6)

 


10) Some fish are dangerous. Jellyfish can sting. Electric eels can give
you a shock. They have to live in caves under the sea where I think they
have to plug themselves into chargers. (Christopher age 7)




11) When you go swimming in the sea, it is very cold, and it makes my
willy small. (Kevin age 6)
 



12) Divers have to be safe when they go under the water. Two divers can't
go down alone, so they have to go down on each other. (Becky age 8)








13) On holidays my Mom went water skiing. She fell off when she was going
very fast. She says she won't do it again because water fired right up
her fat ass. (Jule age 7) -----------------

HOW THE GRINCH STOLE CHRISTMAS by Dr. Suess 
 Every Who  Down in Who-ville Liked Christmas a lot...   
But the Grinch, Who lived just North of Who-ville, Did NOT!   
The Grinch hated Christmas! The whole Christmas season!
 Now, please don't ask why. No one quite knows the reason.
It could be that his head wasn't screwed on quite right. 
It could be, perhaps, that his shoes were too tight. 
But I think that the most likely reason of all
 May have been that his heart was two sizes too small.
   
But, Whatever the reason, His heart or his shoes, 
He stood there on Christmas Eve, hating the Whos,
 Staring down from his cave with a sour, 
Grinchy frown At the warm lighted windows below in their town. 
For he knew every Who down in Who-ville beneath Was busy now, 
hanging a mistleoe wreath.   
"And they're hanging their stockings!
" he snarled with a sneer. "Tomorrow is Christmas! It's practically here!" 
Then he growled, with his grinch fingers nervously drumming, 
"I MUST find a way to keep Christmas from coming!
" For, tomorrow, he knew...   ...All the Who girls and boys Would wake up bright and early. 
They'd rush for their toys! And then! Oh, the noise! 
Oh, the noise! Noise! Noise! Noise! That's one thing he hated!
 The NOISE! NOISE! NOISE! NOISE!   


Then the Whos, young and old, would sit down to a feast. 
And they'd feast! And they'd feast! And they'd FEAST! FEAST! FEAST! FEAST! 
They would start on Who-pudding, and rare Who-roast-beast 
Which was something the Grinch couldn't stand in the least!   
And THEN They'd do something he liked least of all!
 Every Who down in Who-ville, the tall and the small, 
Would stand close together, with Christmas bells ringing.
 They'd stand hand-in-hand. And the Whos would start singing!   
They'd sing! And they'd sing! AND they'd SING! SING! SING! SING! 
And the more the Grinch thought of the Who-Christmas-Sing 
The more the Grinch thought, "I must stop this whole thing! 
"Why for fifty-three years I've put up with it now!
 I MUST stop Christmas from coming! ...But HOW?"   
Then he got an idea! An awful idea! 
THE GRINCH GOT A WONDERFUL, AWFUL IDEA!   
"I know just what to do!
" The Grinch Laughed in his throat. 
And he made a quick Santy Claus hat and a coat. 
And he chuckled, and clucked, "What a great Grinchy trick! 
"With this coat and this hat, I'll look just like Saint Nick!"  
 "All I need is a reindeer..." The Grinch looked around. 
But since reindeer are scarce, there was none to be found.
 Did that stop the old Grinch...? 
No! The Grinch simply said, "If I can't find a reindeer, I'll make one instead!
" So he called his dog Max. 
Then he took some red thread And he tied a big horn on top of his head. 
  THEN He loaded some bags And some old empty sacks On a ramshakle sleigh 
And he hitched up old Max.  
 Then the Grinch said, "Giddyap!" And the sleigh started down Toward the homes 
where the Whos Lay a-snooze in their town.   
All their windows were dark. Quiet snow filled the air. 
All the Whos were all dreaming sweet dreams without care 
When he came to the first house in the square.
 "This is stop number one,
" The old Grinchy Claus hissed And he climbed to the roof, empty bags in his fist.  
 Then he slid down the chimney.
 A rather tight pinch. 
But if Santa could do it, then so could the Grinch. 
He got stuck only once, for a moment or two.
 Then he stuck his head out of the fireplace flue Where the little Who stockings all hung in a row. 
"These stockings," he grinned, "are the first things to go!"   
Then he slithered and slunk, with a smile most unpleasant, Around the whole room, 
and he took every present! 
Pop guns! And bicycles! Roller skates! Drums! Checkerboards! Tricycles! Popcorn! And plums! 
And he stuffed them in bags. Then the Grinch, very nimbly, Stuffed all the bags, one by one, up the chimney!  
 Then he slunk to the icebox. He took the Whos' feast! He took the Who-pudding! He took the roast beast! 
He cleaned out that icebox as quick as a flash. Why, that Grinch even took their last can of Who-hash! 
  Then he stuffed all the food up the chimney with glee.
 "And NOW!" grinned the Grinch, "I will stuff up the tree!"   
And the Grinch grabbed the tree, and he started to shove When he heard a small sound like the coo of a dove. 
He turned around fast, and he saw a small Who!
 Little Cindy-Lou Who,who was not more than two.  
 The Grinch had been caught by this little Who daughter Who'd got out of bed for a cup of cold water. 
She stared at the Grinch and said, "Santy Claus, why, "Why are you taking our Christmas tree? 
WHY?"   But, you know, that old Grinch was so smart and so slick He thought up a lie, and he thought it up quick! 
"Why, my sweet little tot," the fake Santy Claus lied, "There's a light on this tree that won't light on one side.
 "So I'm taking it home to my workshop, my dear. "I'll fix it up there.
 Then I'll bring it back here."
   And his fib fooled the child. Then he patted her head And he got her a drink and he sent he to bed. 
And when Cindy-Lou Who went to bed with her cup, HE went to the chimney and stuffed the tree up!   
Then the last thing he took Was the log for their fire. Then he went up the chimney himself, the old liar. 
On their walls he left nothing but hooks, and some wire. 
  And the one speck of food The he left in the house Was a crumb that was even too small for a mouse.   
Then He did the same thing To the other Whos' houses   Leaving crumbs Much too small For the other Whos' mouses! 
  It was quarter past dawn... All the Whos, still a-bed All the Whos, still a-snooze When he packed up his sled, Packed it up with their presents!
 The ribbons! The wrappings! The tags! And the tinsel! The trimmings! The trappings!   
Three thousand feet up! Up the side of Mount Crumpit, He rode to the tiptop to dump it! 
"Pooh-pooh to the Whos!" he was grinch-ish-ly humming. "They're finding out now that no Christmas is coming! 
"They're just waking up! I know just what they'll do! "Their mouths will hang open a minute or two 
"The all the Whos down in Who-ville will all cry BOO-HOO!"  
 "That's a noise," grinned the Grinch, "That I simply must hear!" 
So he paused. And the Grinch put a hand to his ear. And he did hear a sound rising over the snow. 
It started in low. Then it started to grow...  
 But the sound wasn't sad! Why, this sound sounded merry! 
It couldn't be so! But it WAS merry! VERY!  
 He stared down at Who-ville! The Grinch popped his eyes! Then he shook! What he saw was a shocking surprise! 
  Every Who down in Who-ville, the tall and the small, Was singing!
 Without any presents at all! He HADN'T stopped Christmas from coming! IT CAME!
 Somehow or other, it came just the same! 
  And the Grinch, with his grinch-feet ice-cold in the snow, Stood puzzling and puzzling:
 "How could it be so? 
It came without ribbons! It came without tags! "It came without packages, boxes or bags!" 
And he puzzled three hours, `till his puzzler was sore. Then the Grinch thought of something he hadn't before! 
"Maybe Christmas," he thought, "doesn't come from a store. 
"Maybe Christmas...perhaps...means a little bit more!" 
  And what happened then...? Well...in Who-ville they say 
That the Grinch's small heart Grew three sizes that day! 
And the minute his heart didn't feel quite so tight, 
He whizzed with his load through the bright morning light And he brought back the toys! 
And the food for the feast! 
And he...   ...HE HIMSELF...! The Grinch carved the roast beast!

 Some good tips for eating right around the holidays...



    1. Avoid carrot sticks. Anyone who puts carrots on a holiday buffet
 table knows nothing of the Christmas spirit. In fact, if you see
 carrots, leave immediately. Go next door, where they're serving rum
 balls.



     2. Drink as much eggnog as you can. And quickly. It's rare. You can't
 find it any other time of year but now. So drink up! Who cares that it
 has 10,000 calories in every sip? It's not as if you're going to turn
 into an eggnog-alcoholic or something. It's a treat. Enjoy it. Have one
 for me.  Have two. It's later than you think. It's Christmas!



    3. If something comes with gravy, use it. That's the whole point of
 gravy.  Gravy does not stand alone. Pour it on. Make a volcano out of your
 mashed potatoes. Fill it with gravy. Eat the volcano. Repeat step #3.



    4. As for mashed potatoes, always ask if they're made with skim milk or
 whole milk. If it's skim, pass. Why bother? It's like buying a sports
 car with an automatic transmission.



    5. Do not have a snack before going to a party in an effort to control
 your eating. The whole point of going to a Christmas party is to eat
 other people's food for free. Lots of it. Hello!?!?!?



    6. Under no circumstances should you exercise between now and New
 Year's.  You can do that in January when you have nothing else to do. This is
  the time for long naps, which you'll need after circling the buffet table
 while carrying a 10-pound plate of food and that vat of eggnog.



     7. If you come across something really good at a buffet table, like
 frosted Christmas cookies in the shape and size of Santa, position
 yourself near them and don't budge. Have as many as you can before
 becoming the center of attention. They're like a beautiful pair of
 shoes. If you leave them behind, you're never going to see them again.



    8. Same for pies. Apple. Pumpkin. Mincemeat. Have a slice of each. Or
 if you don't like mincemeat, have two apples and one pumpkin. Always have
 three.  When else do you get to have more than one dessert? Labor Day?



    9. Did someone mention fruitcake? Granted, it's loaded with the
 mandatory celebratory calories, but avoid it at all cost. I mean, have
 some standards.



   10. One final tip: If you don't feel terrible when you leave the party
 or get up from the table, you haven't been paying attention. Re-read
 tips; start over, but hurry, January is just around the corner.

  Remember this motto to live by:
 
 "Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of
 arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to
 skid in sideways, chocolate in one hand, body thoroughly used up,
 totally worn out and screaming "WOO HOO what a ride!"


Merry Christmas, Happy New Year

 (Thanks for the early Christmas present Bratmom!) :D

Harrr! Harrr! Harrr!

My candle for remembering all of the children who have passed on - for tonight's worldwide candlight vigil
 - Please see LadyG's blog post -

* My neighbors are all joining in tonight too

Well, it feels like rain, more like it. ....It snowed here two days ago, and today it did rain some, but my leg is hurtin' like a big dog! - course I was walking quite a bit today, doing my Christmas shopping. - Amost done - *WHEW!*
 - I'll be glad when it starts raining, or snowing. - My leg will stop aching then!

 ...and no you guys....it's not my pegleg either...........*rolls eyes*

 Well... the cold weather has literally blown in - no snow - just wind and COLD! COLD! COLD!
We've managed to get our Christmas tree up, and the lights on...well -almost. - The last strand that I put on, - half of is lit and half is not - so it's half lit (hmmm!) - So I'll be getting a new strand of lights for the tree - maybe two. ;)

 Still working on getting my shopping list done - almost there! My Dad is always hard to buy for - I have to get inventive when it comes to thinking of something for him. - And my father in law too.

 Also working on stuff at our kiddo's school - decorating the classroom, and gettting ready for the class party - fun stuff, but still stuff that needs to be done.

waiting for the first snowfall....*ahhhh* ....it's always so nice, just how still and quiet the world becomes when it snows...

I need some hot chocolate - and a nap!

- H.R. Pufnstuf 

H.R. Pufnstuf, 
Who's your friend when things get rough? 
H.R. Pufnstuf 
Can't do a little cause he can't do enough. 

Once upon a summertime 
Just a dream from yesterday 
A boy and his magic golden flute 
Heard a boat from off the bay 
"Come and play with me, Jimmy 
Come and play with me. 
And I will take you on a trip 
Far across the sea." 

But the boat belonged to a kooky old witch 
Who had in mind the flute to snitch 
From her broom broom in the sky 
She watched her plans materialize 
She waved her wand 
The beautiful boat was gone 
The skies grew dark 
The sea grew rough 
And the boat sailed on and on and on and on and on and on. 

But Pufnstuf was watching too 
And knew exactly what to do 
He saw the witch's boat attack 
And as the boy was fighting back 
He called his rescue racer crew 
As often they'd rehearsed 
And off to save the boy they flew 
But who would get there first? 

But now the boy had washed ashore 
Puf arrived to save the day 
Which made the witch so mad and sore 
She shook her first and screamed away. 

H.R. Pufnstuf, 
Who's your friend when things get rough? 
H.R. Pufnstuf 
Can't do a little cause he can't do enough. 

H.R. Pufnstuf, 
Who's your friend when things get rough? 
H.R. Pufnstuf 
Can't do a little cause he can't do enough.

 

 :)

 This was one of my most favorite shows while growing up...lots of fun, and I had a mad crush on "Jimmy" :)

 Sadly - while researching for this song and some pics of Jimmy, I found out that Jimmy, (Jack Wild), passed away just last year from cancer...it may sound silly, but I cried - yet another cherished part of my childhood, now gone...